Personal Musings – Readers

Because I feel a lot, I am what you can an empath. I am somebody who you would often tag as a hypersensitive person.

As a kid, I often cried alone for the things that would not have made sense to most people my age. For the same reason, I never made any real friends and for the record I still have not made many friends. I was often ridiculed for taking things a little too seriously, an old soul you could call me.

Still none of that means I can just write. Sure, I have felt considerably more and I still feel a lot but how will that make me a writer? Well, to tell you the truth, I am not sure myself and I suck at creating grammatically correct sentences. I simply write what comes to me as a feeling, thought or an emotion. But I think I can write because I have been often told not to write stories in my e-mails (:p). Yeah, I often end up taking a lot more space than I should because my own thoughts take a lot more space in my mind. Things are not just white and black to me, instead they have all these beautiful grey shades and I can’t ever choose just one.

Also, I do not write because I need someone to read it or because I want to draw any attention. I think it’s just how I like to express myself. The struggle of being an overly emotional person sometimes just gets to me and I start hating myself for the way I am. But at the time one of those grey’s in mind also tell me that it is because of these feelings that I am able to express myself a little more beautifully than a few people in this world. I am often appreciated for the thoughtfulness and for the efforts when I am just being myself, and I don’t need to tell you that it feels amazing.

So I think I will write and maybe a little more regularly because I do anyway in my mind. It’s just now I will record a lot more of it to look back someday and laugh on own stupid self

So fellow readers, writers – Au Revoir!

Today! The first chapter of 365 pages yearbook.

Like everyone else I was looking forward to this day, to add some new memories and to find some new resolutions that I hopefully will be able to complete. But the moment it was dawn and the sun hit now foggy sky I found myself doing the usual that is logging into my Facebook and Instagram. It’s now become a ritual that normally makes me hate my life and myself for making it that way.

Today was anything but different, going through pictures of people partying and then hating the fact that I wasn’t like them. Suddenly something struck real hard, yes the new year new me vibes started to take control of me and I quit checking my social media accounts for the rest of the morning I had left. I went out to actually experience this 1st morning of 365 days and I found it beautiful so I decided my first resolution for the year – ” go out and experience sunrise instead of other people’s life”. I was happy now and in that state of happiness I took over the charge of my body to workout in the open. It was fun and cold too. Voila resolution 2 found – ” working out amidst the nature”.

It was a happy morning and peaceful too. It was a time for deep thinking and realizations. It was the time I found the courage and will to be something more. It made me feel accomplished in some sense while it was the simplest thing to do, so here I am- marking the beginning of change. I am now starting a happy yearbook, an accomplished one and I vow to make sure I end it on the same note.

This is the year for self improvement and some selfish acts. It’s the year when I fulfill self expectations and tread on the path to achievement. It’s going to be a great book for I choose what makes it great and worthwhile.

I am going to make me proud and find peace.